(24) my experience with growing up “ugly”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo9RCx28EpU
无作者
Hello, beautiful people of the internet.This is NoHuman here.Today,we will be doing a different type of video where I sit down and talk to you guys, while I do my makeup.Yes, the long-awaited makeup tutorial,but it’s not exactly a makeup tutorial.It’s more of me yapping about beauty standards, my insecurities,and how I feel being a fem(fem) presenting person online because, oh lord,people do judge you by your looks, and will pick you apart if you do not look the way that they deem as, feminine,pretty, beautiful,whatever.I’m going to start out with moisturizer.Already put my fake hair in.Yes, I wear fake hair.Um my hair are extensions, but I’ve mentioned that many,many times.As you guys know,I put a beauty filter on my videos, and this one will also have it because I still have crippling body dysmorphia.It’s not something that you could fix in a snap of a finger like that.I turned off DMs, on the account that I post my YouTube stuff, because I got a lot of people harassing me.And those people.
that came from my channel here to there and then onto the makeup page,they found it and they’re like, “Wow,you’re actually chopped.I can’t believe like you’ve been catfishing everyone this whole entire time.”, And then I’m just like,“I’ve been saying this.I’ve been saying that I put a beauty filter on my [ __ ], and I’ve been saying that I got eyelid surgery.”, And [laughter] yeah,da da da da da.Obviously, the difference is like night and day.People obviously treat you so different.People treat you so different accordingly to how you fit beauty standards.I was always the tan Asian kid and I didn’t have good skin.I had acne since I was in the fourth grade.Basically, I ate so much junk food.I I remember I ate like McDonald’s like several times a week, and [snorts] I had [clears throat] like Dunkin’ Donuts every other day.That’s only because there was a Dunkin’ Donuts really close to my house.And I got really, really bad acne,and then I just started scratching it all off.
And then I had that habit ever since for like the next few years.So then my acne had never really got better cuz, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.Like I always fidget as a kid.I would like pull off my hair,like I pulled off like a like a little semicircle here.And then I will also scratch my acne off, so then it left a lot of scarring.But it’s been a long time since that, so so then my acne scars got better.But if I kept going at it, kept picking it at it for even more years,it definitely would have caused irreversible damage to my skin.I remember growing up I always watched a lot of makeup tutorials,especially like James Charles, Jeffree Star,and all the OG makeup people.I always wanted to be like that because I was like, “Wow,like it feels so fun.It seems so fun.” And then I just didn’t have the features for it.I didn’t have big, round eyes.I didn’t have a double eyelid.Nor did I have, like the bone structure that most Western, Western makeup YouTubers had on old YouTube.
So then I don’t really know what to do.I just I just try to learn the 2016 Kylie makeup at that point,King Kylie makeup.But obviously it did not suit my features.Ugh.And let’s fast forward to when I discovered Korean makeup.Oh lord,that was a whole whole new, ball park that I was not ready to dive into at the time.At that time I discovered BTS, and I was like,“Oh my god, wait,they’re so pretty.” And then I realized that they wore makeup, too.And then the deeper that I got into K-pop, I was like,“Okay, these girls look like me.So then maybe I can look as beautiful as them.” So then I tried experimenting, with that, that makeup style,Korean makeup style.Oh lord, I I always look like I had like gochujang on my lips.And when I did the western makeup,I literally looked like Donald Trump cuz I just like put contour, on my jawline and then it was just straight up orange.Like no one told me that my neck was just orange.So then I had a lot of makeup mistakes when I was a beginner.
And back then we didn’t have like TikTok.Well, we had like Musical.ly,but then like TikTok was barely even starting out.Let alone like Xiaohongshu, where you could find even more Asian makeup.As you guys know, K-pop beauty standards are by no means easily attainable.So then I was looking at that beauty standard.I was like, “Oh wow,I should be able to look like them if I used enough products,did the right foundation, made my skin clear,and da da da da da.” And it was just like never-ending cuz I was like, “Oh,actually I I needed to have a smaller face.And I also needed bigger eyes.Oh, so like my monolids,it’s not considered beautiful in Asia.” So then I was just like, “Okay,now where do I fit between the beauty standards?” Cuz I am a mix of, the west and the east as well, cuz I was born there and then, came here and then da da da da, da.Assimilation, I guess.But yeah,it’s just like it’s hard to find the middle ground and, it’s like you either have to fit in one, category or the other.
And now I I still don’t know where I fit.I I don’t know by any means, but it’s okay.Um I’m just like I’m just the floater.It didn’t help that I was like very very socially in depth, adept in I don’t know the right word for it,but just like socially not very well-adjusted.Let’s just say that.So then it was even harder to make friends.And there was this girl in freshman year of high school,I remember I was just sitting alone eating my lunch, my school lunch,and I was just like pretending to be on my phone.I was like, “Yeah.” Wait,no.I was just pretending to read a book, because I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone,and then I didn’t know what to do, and I just didn’t want to look like a loner,so then I was just pretending to read a book while I eat,but I was not paying attention to the book at all.I hated reading books, but it was like performative,I guess.Because I just didn’t want to seem like a [ __ ] loser.And I don’t want I don’t know.
I was just so self-conscious of what people thought of me.Still am, but we’re we’re working on it.We’re working on it.And then she was also in my Japanese class, and she was a very,very, very extroverted kid.She could talk to anyone, and she was like friends with everyone as well.And then she sat like on the other edge of the table, as me and then with her friends.And then she like just walked over to me.I was just like, “Like,do you hate me?” And she was like, “You look angry all the time.” And I’m like,“No, I’m not angry.That’s just my face.That’s literally just my face.”, And it was definitely because of my um very sharp monolids.So then I was just like, “Ah,[ __ ] Well, well,there’s not much I could do.There there wasn’t much I could do at the time, obviously.I was literally a kid.But I was just like, “Damn,bro.” And then I just slugged it out for the next few years,and then during quarantine was when I really experimented with makeup cuz.
I literally chopped my hair off by myself at home.I gave myself a bowl cut.And then I felt more comfortable, in my own skin because of the, fact that I was like exploring, my, sexuality, and gender identity.And then that was when, I started feeling more comfortable, with myself because I didn’t have to go to school because that was COVID.So then no one could see me behind the screen.I barely ever showed my face.Like, you know,everyone just like low-key like just stopped showing their faces at some point,you know?So [snorts] then,I just didn’t show my face and I felt most comfortable that way.And then,that was when my acne truly started to clear up because, I think the school environment was just not it for me.It just made me feel so icky and gross.
(informal) very unpleasantSYN disgusting
’He ate it with mustard.’ ‘Oh, gross!’
In quarantine, I just felt so so so so much better and so so much less stressed.Like, I didn’t have to worry about being perceived by other kids,making friends cuz by then it was like February, March.I still didn’t really have friends.
I was just a freaking floater, that didn’t have friends because the people that I thought were maybe friends,they told me later on that they didn’t think we were close at all.And I was like, “Wow,I totally misread that situation.” But, um regardless of that.So,that was also when like 2020 Tik Tok was like very into that e-girl, um alternative aesthetic and I was just experimenting.I was experimenting with everything.Wing liner, fashion.>> [laughter] >> It was just like everything.I just wanted to look cool.I wanted to look cool so I could fit in somewhere.And I slowly did that and then I actually did find people.I I tried to reach out cuz after basically a year of like not really, talking to people,I was like, “Okay,well, now I’m getting really lonely.Like, there’s not enough Genshin quests now.So,I need to find someone to play, Valorant with.” And that was, also when Valorant came out.So then, I was like,“Okay.So now,I need to find friends to play games with because I am really lonely and.
and playing Genshin by myself is not cutting it anymore because at that time,
(informal) to (not) be as good as is expected or needed
He won’t cut it as a professional singer.
I literally finished all the quests.Yes, I I literally just grinded Genshin every single day while I was on Zoom.It was fun.I was I was actually, Some classes I was paying attention, and low-key it made my attention span way better.But for some other classes, I couldn’t play a game at the same time,like physics.I I could not do that.I had, I had to put my full attention on there or else, the teacher would have called, me out in front of the class, and that was the last thing I, wanted to do.But the trick was you participate a lot in the beginning and then they’re like,“Yeah,that person actually talks a lot.” So then, when everyone is burnt out and stuff towards the middle of the semester,um no one starts talking anymore even the active like participants, and then they just slowly stop calling on you and then I just kind of, use that meta [laughter] to like I participated.
in the very beginning of the class so then they wouldn’t pick on me later on, and then then I just start playing games again.Yeah, anyways guys,stay in school.Don’t become like me cuz I almost became a dropout cuz, that’s that’s a whole ‘nother story,high school senior year.Yeah, that that’s a whole ‘nother thing.But we don’t need to get on to that.Yeah,so then I messaged this one girl that I didn’t talk to for years, cuz we went to different high schools and then I I was like,“Oh my god, wait,she she does Tik Tok and she likes alternative fashion,too.” So then I tried hitting her up but then she ghosted me at first, but then eventually she started, talking to me and then we started, hitting it off.And then [snorts] we started, playing games together and then, she introduced me to her friend.It’s like the way to make friends is like you need an extroverted friend first, to like, bring you along with their other friends.Like you need you need an extrovert friend to adopt you.
That’s that’s the main way to make friends is how I think is the easiest meta.At least that’s what I think the meta is.And it’s definitely a foolproof plan.And then after she introduced me to her friends, and they were all accepting and welcoming of me,I felt more secure and I I like, “Wow,people actually like me?And they’re inclusive of me?Wait, that’s crazy.” So then Yeah,I think that was the most confident I was,but then because of friend group drama and stuff, like most friend groups do.Um it slowly fell apart, and then yeah,people just picked sides, and then and then it just went into Yeah,it just dissipated, basically.This is the makeup so far.Wow.I still feel so freaking chopped, bro.
Oh my god.Okay, these days I just genuinely feel so shitty about myself.I feel like it’s because of the fact that um I don’t know.There’s just a lot going on.I just feel so guilty for not doing [ __ ] and then, feeling like [ __ ] because of the ex rebound thing,
and then also Remember the job interview that happened?Yeah.So, when they were telling me to go pick a training day,I picked it, but then on the day of,I flaked.
flake out: (informal) to lie down or fall asleep because you are extremely tired （疲倦得）倒下，睡着
When I got home he’d already flaked out on the bed.
Not going to lie, told them that I was sick because I I felt so nauseous,but more like in an anxiety-induced way,not like I was physically ill type of way.It was so much anxiety, I couldn’t bring myself to go.And Yeah,I probably [ __ ] up the um, opportunity, that way because I don’t think they would want me anymore if I rescheduled, that many times with them,right?So I’m just like, “Okay,well, [ __ ] Um RIP job.RIP job.I still need to message them and ask them if they want to reschedule the day.They said no problem, but I I don’t actually know if they meant no problem,you know?But yeah, it’s just so much anxiety and uh feeling bad about myself these days.Anyways, continuing on with the story.It wasn’t until like last year after I got eyelid surgery that I truly, felt a little bit better about myself.
But even now, it it feels like it’s not enough.It feels like oh, I need more and I want more.There’s more and more things that I pick at myself about cuz I’m my own, worst critic.Like that’s usually how it is for everyone.You’re your own worst critic.And like we literally bully ourselves in our own heads.And I genuinely think my brain is my biggest op, cuz literally no one would be this mean to me in real life.Actually, maybe they would.Some some people on the internet are weird.But um for the most part, I don’t think anyone could be more mean than myself.To myself at least.Wait.My freaking eggos eye looks different.It looks different from each side.I feel like I’m like going on a tangent.I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore.I’m sorry, guys.I’m like really bad at this.Like I’m not a good I’m not very good at keeping track of my thoughts.I just say whatever comes to my brain and a lot of the times it’s disorganized.All right, we got our eggos eye.Wait.
Oh my god, I don’t know why I said that.That one song is stuck in my head.The one that’s like the Uma Musume.Okay.Um this part’s the most important,my eyebrows cuz clearly I have very very sparse eyebrows.I don’t know.It’s just weird.I feel like I’m so conditioned to hate myself.
In English, conditioned (in a psychological context) means to be trained or influenced over time to react, think, or behave in a specific way automatically.
Examples:
I feel like I’ve been conditioned to seek perfection. (I was trained to feel I must be perfect.)
She was conditioned to believe that showing emotion is a weakness.
We are conditioned into thinking success only comes from constant grinding.
It’s probably also like a capitalism thing.Um because there’s always new products on the market and it’s like oh,it’s picking out a new insecurity that you never thought you had before.Like since when was like the length of your philtrum,the length of your mid face a thing?Literally a few years ago, no one talked about this [ __ ] No one.And all of a sudden, everyone’s talking about this.And then the [ __ ] recessed chin and [ __ ] Oh my god, bro.
A recessed chin (also referred to as a receding chin, weak chin, or clinically as retrognathia / retrogenia) occurs when the lower jaw or chin point sits further back relative to the upper jaw and the rest of the face. While it is often discussed in terms of facial profile symmetry, severe cases can also involve underlying bite and airway issues.
It’s just boring more things to make us pick at, to hate ourselves and then buy into some [ __ ] product, or procedure, to fix it.Oh, my light just went out.But yeah, it’s just obviously I’m a consumer first.I consume media and everything.
So obviously I am influenced by that [ __ ] as well.It’s not like I’m saying like, “Oh,I am the exception.I do not buy into any of that [ __ ] I can see right through their plans.”, It’s like obviously I am also very influenced by those things as well and, I feel like I almost like went into that, hole, of that [ __ ], and I hate it because, it’s just it’s just feeding off of young people’s insecurities, to make profits for whatever [ __ ] that you’re trying to sell me,whether it’s your course or whether it’s your peptides or injections.I don’t even know, dude.
And I feel like for femme presenting people, especially online,we just are so reduced to our looks.
reˈduce sb/sth (from sth) to sth/to doing sth
[usually passive] to force sb/sth into a particular state or condition, usually a worse one 使陷入（更坏的）境地；使沦落；使陷入窘境
a beautiful building reduced to rubbleShe was reduced to tears by their criticisms.
They were reduced to begging in the streets.
Like if you don’t look, conventionally attractive and then you’re doing a thirst trap,people are going to shit on you and people are going to dog on you.
dog: verb ~ sb/sth(of a problem or bad luck 问题或不幸) to cause you trouble for a long time （长期）困扰，折磨，纠缠
He had been dogged by ill health all his life.
But it’s different if a conventionally attractive person does it, right?And I just, it it’s just so sad because like everyone online also feeds off of hate, and it’s just so Unanimous.It’s just like.
feed on/off to eat sth 以…为食
Butterflies feed on the flowers of garden plants.
蝴蝶以园林中草木的花为食。
no one is supporting each other and uplifting each other these days.All it is these days is rage bait and just like people mobbing onto people.
~ sth if a crowd of birds or animals mob another bird or animal, they gather round it and attack it
It’s just, It’s like mob mentality to hate like people or things or whatever the hell.Wait, I actually kind of like my makeup today.Eyebrows are really dark, but >> [snorts] >> Okay,wait.My eyebrows are [ __ ] up.Wait.You got me [ __ ] up.Wait.Wait.Wait.Wait.Wait.This looks weird.I don’t know what kind of makeup I’m going for at all.Like like at all.
Back in high school, I never went to school without doing my makeup.I would always wake up an hour or two before class starts.No, it already takes me like an hour to get to school,and then I have to wake up another hour and a half before that to get ready.And it literally killed me.And I was like so self-conscious.I was like, “I can’t go to school without putting on makeup.No one will recognize me.And people are going to judge me and da da da da da.”, But no one actually gives a [ __ ], Like in reality,
no one actually gives a [ __ ] But I was just so in my head.I was so in my head about that.I was so convinced that everyone hated me and everyone thought that I was ugly.And sometimes I still feel that way.Sometimes I still feel that way for sure.Cuz that [ __ ] sticks with you and it doesn’t go away.Oh, wait.I didn’t do my lashes/eyelash.Another thing was I tried every single eyelid tape, eyelid glue,eyelid whatever the hell.And then I opted for eyelid glue during middle school years.Every day, every morning,I would glue my eyelids, basically together to look like it has a double eyelid crease.And then in high school, I started just using tape.And then full full on makeup.But back in middle school, I only did my foundation.I did my foundation on my cheeks,but I never did it on my forehead where I actually had acne cuz I was like,“Oh my god,it’s going to make it worse.”, And then I just I just look like a half-boiled egg.Like this part was like cooked and this part was like shiny, boil-y,
and [ __ ] Other part was just like just like baked.I was like, “Damn.” I saw a picture of me on like Snapchat.Like I took like a Snapchat photo back then with my old friend.And then it was just my shiny, shiny cheek and then my forehead that’s completely unblended.It was just And it was like crusty.Like looking back on it, it’s like funny.You know, like we all have like that makeup fail stage.Cuz it’s not easy to do makeup.I literally spend so much time researching,practicing to get to the skill level that I’m at now.And I still don’t think I am as good as a lot of cosplayers cuz oh my god,the Chinese cosplayers, they’re crazy.I love watching their tutorials cuz it’s so intriguing cuz it’s like art.And you’re the canvas.>> [sighs and gasps] >> I don’t really have a clear message for this video.I guess it’s just me talking about, how I feel these days and just being perceived online.I just feel like there’s like a lot of pressure to look a certain way.
And sometimes I feel like I just feel like a fraud.Not going to lie,I just feel like a fraud because of the face filters and just like my makeup, cuz it can be quote unquote deceiving,however you want to look at it.But to me, it’s just something for me to feel better about myself with.And it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business, obviously,but um when you have a lot of people watching you,kind of people make it their business.And it’s hard for me to not pay attention to what people say.And I personally just keep reinforcing that idea in my head that I am not, what everyone thinks that I am.Everyone’s complimenting me and [ __ ] but I’m like, “No,that’s not who I am.I don’t feel like that.I don’t look like that.” And then I just feel so deceitful,but I don’t even know what I look like.Cameras distort your face.Mirrors also sometimes have a distortion,but for the most part mirrors are pretty accurate of what you look like.But every single time I see like pretty girls online.
taking photos and they look so good.And then when I open up my camera roll and then I look at myself, I’m like,“Damn.Damn.This is not what I thought I’d look like.”, I go and take a picture and then it’s just like, it doesn’t look like how it looked like on there.And I was just like,“Why don’t I look like that?”, And then I just stopped taking pictures of myself because I felt so, so in my head about myself.And obviously the logical thing is just fake it till you make it.I I know that’s that’s how it usually goes.And yet,I don’t really have the strength to fake it cuz it also takes a lot of energy,right?So yeah,it’s learning to love yourself and to accept these things about yourself, is a challenge.And if you ever get any cosmetic procedures,make sure that you’re doing it for yourself and not because of anyone else.You know?So definitely sit on that for years cuz when I got my eyes done,I sat on that for many many many years.
Anything else I want in the future possibly, I will also sit on it for years.>> [laughter] >> Because we do change.We do change.Sometimes you grow into accepting yourself and sometimes, that might not be that might not happen for you.So then you just do what you got to do, you know?If that’s what makes you happy, you should go for it.But if it’s just something that you feel pressured to do.I don’t suggest it.I don’t suggest altering your face to make others happy, you know?>> [gasps and sighs] >> I haven’t put on lashes in a bit.I I do feel kind of I don’t know if I feel pretty.I don’t know if I feel pretty.I feel different.I don’t know if I feel pretty.I’m going to draw on bottom lashes.Sometimes I definitely think, “Oh,if I didn’t look like this or if I didn’t present myself in a certain way,no one will watch my videos.”, And you guys clicked on it because you probably thought,“Oh, wow,this girl, she looks kind of cool.” Or she kind of looks kind of pretty.
And then you’re like, [snorts] “Oh,she’s really mentally ill.”, Or maybe I like her personality and then that’s why you stayed.But I feel like I don’t know, it’s just like a very sociological thing.Beauty standards and everything.And it’s also ingrained in patriarchy.It’s all systems.All systems that bind us into like this [ __ ] that we [ __ ] hate,but we ultimately can’t really change much.But um yeah, there’s no solution.There is no solution.I’m not a philosopher um by any means.I’m literally just a girl on the internet.A girl on the internet that is mad insecure.I’m trying to do my makeup today to stream, cuz I haven’t streamed in 2 weeks because I [ __ ], [ __ ] hated myself.Still hate myself, but I don’t want to I don’t want to keep saying that.I don’t want to keep saying I hate myself because you are what you eat.You are what you think.So, I don’t want to keep saying that,you know?I’m going to try to stop the self-deprecating jokes.Like, “I’m going to kill myself.” Like,
no, I’m not going to say that anymore.I’m going to start saying,“I’m going to [ __ ] myself.” That’s a better better way to stop the negativity.And it’s more humorous, I’d say.If maybe maybe you don’t think so, but I think so.Wait, I feel like I like my makeup today.I’m looking at myself in the mirror, I’m like,wait a minute.Wait, is the baddie coming back?Maybe it’s my eyebrows, or maybe it’s my hairstyle.Cuz like my bangs have been really really freaking weird lately.I was thinking about also cutting my hair for this video.But I like low-key [snorts] doing my hair before I started the makeup,so then like it’s like easier, somewhat easier.Or else I’ll look like mega mega chopped,and I don’t think I want to put myself in that position,cuz I did a I did a YouTube live where I did that, and then people are like,oh my god, holy [ __ ] chopped.And then I was like, okay,I’m [ __ ] privating this [ __ ] Hell, freak you guys.Freak y’all.Uh, I’m just using humor to cope.
Um, what blush should I use?This blush is actually so pretty.Ooh.My way.Oh my god, she’s so pretty.Not me, the blush.I’m going to put a lot on.Wow.Wow.Wow.Wow.And this is Oh, I just I just broke it.Wow, okay.Um, that’s not what I intended to do.I’m just going to take this here.It’s like a highlighting thingamabob.Okay.All right.Um Okay, thank you.Can I close you?Can I close this?Thank you very much.Wait, why do I look kind of cute?>> [laughter] >> Wait, am I coming back?How do I style my bangs?That’s my biggest like dilemma.Okay, I’m going to try to curl this.Okay,I’m going to put this in a little curler, for a few minutes and I’ll come back and show you guys what it looks like.Usually this method doesn’t work for me, but I’ve been growing out my bangs,so I don’t know.Let’s see.She, who are you?Okay, let’s let’s do the reveal.Okay, this looks a little questionable.>> [laughter] >> I feel like that one guy with that one emo bang.Oh, hell no.Oh, hell no.
I don’t want to make this not look like this.Wish that I could say things are better off this way.Um, yeah,the bangs that that did not work.Um, now I have barcode bangs.Yay.Help.Help.Help.I’m going to use um, hair mascara and see what I can do to fix this.[ __ ] Please do something.Can I like get that Giselle look?Let me bring the light over.Okay, this is this is not this is not this is not flattering by any means.Okay, we’re we’re not doing that.Okay.Here.Okay, I’m sorry for dropping y’all.Sorry.Okay.Ooh.Let me bring the other light over.Oh, this this other light.Ah, wow.I am mesmerizing y’all.Oh my god, I am blinding myself.Ooh, this is the perfect lighting.This is like the perfect makeup influencer lighting.Oh wait, I look kind of cute.Who Who are you?Hey.Okay, sorry.[snorts] This is so cringe.I feel so cringed out.Solstice right here judging me.She’s like, “What the [ __ ] What the freak?” She scratched me.This is what happens.Hey, why you scratch?Baby, why you scratch me?
You scratch me.I didn’t scratch you.Okay, leave.Leave and never come back.Okay, I was thinking about dressing up like in something cute.But I feel too awkward to dress up.I don’t know why I feel too awkward to dress up.I’m literally in my own room.Like, why am I so afraid?Why am I so afraid?I want some cute pics,but, I feel so afraid to be in my, own skin that I can’t even do, the [ __ ] in my own room.Like, what?What?What?Come on.Okay, okay,[ __ ] it.[ __ ] it.Okay, [ __ ] Okay,too much profanity.Some people say that I have too much profanity, in my videos and I’m really really sorry that that’s so part of and ingrained, into my language,but okay, I’ll stop being a [ __ ] [ __ ] and start doing it.I’ll I’ll change.Let’s see how I feel afterwards.Hey y’all.This is awkward.Okay, well,I need to tie the back.Wait, I feel pretty.Aw, I haven’t felt this pretty in like so long.Do I try to take pictures of myself?I think the last time I felt this pretty was when I turned myself into a doll.Wow.Wow.
Wait, I pretty again.>> [snorts] >> Aw, I feel so sad,but also so good, but not so good,but like sad, but like nostalgic.Like, I don’t know.Thank you guys for watching this video.Guys,I need one of you guys to like put me in like those edits, and like boost my ego and confidence or something.Cuz damn, why do I look kind of good?[ __ ] This is so weird, but also I hate the way that my hair is like spiky.Like, it’s like why is there like a middle middle thing here?If anyone actually has tips about hair, please help.I just want this to like stay on one side and not like do this weird thing here.No, stop doing that.Stop it.Stop.I command you to stop.Oh.Anyways, thank you guys for watching.I am going to go stream now.It’s my first time back in a while, so I hope it goes well.Let’s hope.And thank you for watching my video once again.Um Take care of yourselves, guys.Take care.It’s Nolan Human here, signing out.Bye-bye.Oh my gosh, you look so stupid.
--- 由 vCaptions 生成 ---