Quartz 4

_Real men suck, so I pay someone to act as my in-game boyfriend._

23 min read

“Real men suck, so I pay someone to act as my in-game boyfriend.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zHiVA7v2ok

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Intro

This is Juju and this is her boyfriend.He’s not real, or at least he only exists in 2D.[music] But Juju has absolutely fallen for him.He comes from an auto game,a [music] dating game where the male cast is designed to be loved.There’s only one problem.These perfect boyfriends can’t exist in our real world.Or can they?Here’s Juju again, and next to her is her virtual boyfriend made [music] real.Drager’s solution is to hire a cosplayer,a person who dresses up as her [music] in-game boyfriend,and they go on a meticulously planned date.From doing couply activities, like cake decorating or ring, shopping to really whatever she, wants,Juju’s fantasies are able to all come true for a day.Thanks to China’s cosplay romance industry.[music] So,today we’ll be taking a look at how exactly, this industry or this form of commodified, intimacy came to be.You might have never come across, the idea of bringing a fictional, game boyfriend to life.But after we delve into this some more,maybe what’s happening in China.

is just a preview of what’s to, come for all of us.Let’s start at the beginning with games.What’s the [music] deal behind, these dating games and why has, it exploded in popularity, in China?It’s time for us to fall in love with some fictional men.

Why otome games are taking over China

Otome games are story-based romance games designed primarily for women.The player takes on the role of a female protagonist, who is surrounded by multiple intimidatingly, attractive male characters,each with distinct personalities.Through dialogue choices and actions, players shape the story,deepening relationships with, the characters they favor and, unlocking different story lines, or roots that [music] lead to, unique endings.The wordto means maiden in Japanese where the genre originated.The first autome game, Angelique,was developed in 1994 by an all-women team at Koi,and the genre grew in popularity across East Asia in the 2000s.China’s own auto gaming scene, however,didn’t truly take off until quite recently.The first major success aimed towards female players wasn’t even a romance game,but a dressing up title called Nikki Up to You,focused on fashion and aesthetics.Then in 2017, the studio behind Nikki released Love and Producer,China’s first major domestic automare game, and it was a hit.

Chinese otome games nowadays have evolved beyond simple romance, incorporating rich storylines, intricate gameplay,and emotionally complex heroins.

heroines = female heroes / female main character

gal game / galge — a game where the player usually plays a male protagonist and romances female characters.
bishōjo game — literally “beautiful girl game”; often used for games featuring attractive female characters, usually aimed at male players.
dating sim — a broader term for a romance/dating simulation game. It isn’t necessarily male-oriented

Many of these protagonists are not damsels in distress,waiting to be saved by an entourage of sharp jaw lines and chiseled abs.

abdominals (also informal abs) [pl.] the muscles of the abdomen 腹肌

They are strong, independent, female leads kicking ass with an entourage of sharp jaw lines and chiseled abs.big difference.

NOTE

kick (some) ˈass/ˈbutt(slang, especially NAmE)
to act in a way that is aggressive or full of energ

And [clears throat] this transformation, mirrors the changes Chinese women are experiencing in society.There’s two parts to this.Chinese women having more money, and Chinese women now developing, new social needs.Firstly, Chinese people as a whole are earning more.Specifically for women, they are now more financially independent.[music], That’s why the in-game character is also modeled to be strong and capable.The other part of rising incomes [music] is that when people earn more,they also tend to spend more on non-essentials, such as [music] entertainment and leisure,

like buying Loos or spending an absurd amount of money on matcha lattes.But honestly, what kind of idiot would do that?[snorts] These are all offline, spendings, but with the existence, of the internet,more and more of the things we do for leisure have moved online.Nowadays in China,gaming has become one of the most popular forms [music] of entertainment.Now, let’s join all the dots.When you piece everything together,you can see the average income, per month for women in China, has grown [music] steadily, after a sharp rise postco(post-COVID).

And the growth trend is also reflected in the market size of Chinese autome, games.Women are getting richer and, they’re spending this money on, the things they enjoy.That means that spending power is fueling [music] demand.In particular,it’s young women who are the, most willing to drop serious, cash on whatever brings them, social and emotional value.Money talks and Otto games are here to deliver.Last year in 2024,two big Otto.

titles dropped on the same day from rival developers Paper Games and Net Ease.Both these games, Love and Deep Space and Beyond the World,saw explosive success.Within 24 hours of launch,posts about Love and Deep Space, received over 6 billion [music], views on Chinese social media,and the game generated approximately, 150 million yen or 21 million USD in its first week.Beyond the World also surpassed expectations,temporarily passing Genchin Impact in weekly revenue rankings.Chinese female gamers are no joke.Love and [music] Deep Space and, Beyond the World really marked, a turning point for China’s Ottoame, game industry.Before 2024, Japan dominated the global revenue share for female oriented games.But since the first half of 2024, boom.Revenue for Chinese Auto Games has actually surpassed Japan.And this momentum is still going strong.[music] So economically speaking, it all ties together.As Chinese women gain more purchasing power,the growing presence in gaming has pushed the Otto.

industry from a niche genre into a major cultural and commercial phenomenon.Oh, Chinese girls want to see pretty boys.Money talks and now is all the rage.But alongside economic factors, social motives also play a huge role,too.And we’ve hinted at a few already.The typical gamer in China is a young woman,often either studying or working long hours.Most likely she’s single and if she’s already working,you can bet she receives a lot of pressure from her family to not be.Comments like, “You’re already 29.This is when you should be having kids.” Or,“You’ll pass the golden age [music] are incredibly, common.” The so-called, golden age refers to the period between 25 and [music] 30.Regarded as the ideal time to marry and have children, ironically,this is also when many women, are trying to build their careers, and establish their independence.The pressure to marry and have kids is strong,but young people are not falling victim to it.

In fact, the last thing most young people want right now is to settle down.All the data points that way.A 2024 nationwide survey by the Chinese Institute of Psychology, found that over half of 55,000, university students considered marriage unimportant,and nearly 60% thought having children was not important at all.Women especially were less eager than men to pursue romantic relationships.And this trend is even more pronounced, in major cities like Shanghai, and Beijing.The thing is getting into a real relationship requires time, energy,and money.And now young people know if you end up getting married and having kids,you’ll have no time, energy,[music] or money.It’s not surprising then that younger generations are opting out.As lecturer Zuing explains,many young Chinese would rather suppress their longing for intimacy, [music] than be tied down by expectations,especially when modern life already stretches them thin.So,it’s no wonder that so many Otomet.

game players are women who choose to seek virtual romance instead.[music] Here,they can have their emotional needs met without the stress or commitment, required in real life relationships, because male characters in, games [music] will never pick a fight with you or do something that annoys you.On the contrary, they’re charming,[music] attentive, and endlessly supportive.Even when the story gets tough, you pull through together.Otomet games [music] provide eye candy, yes,but I do also want to emphasize that they deliver a good game [music] experience, in general.Players mention feeling genuinely, empowered playing as a confident and capable female protagonist.[music] And of course,having a bunch of hot guys following you around doesn’t hurt.That said, when players do crave a little emotional closeness,Otto, games like Love and Deep Space have found creative ways to deliver [music] it.To make characters feel more real,players can scroll through a character’s WeChat moments,

kind of like the Chinese version of stalking someone’s Insta profile.There’s also companion mode where, [music] your chosen partner can, join you as a study,workout, or office companion.So, it’s like they’re really by your side as you [music] go about your day.And with the recent 3.0 0 update, the developers went one step further,introducing a period reminder feature.Your virtual boyfriend now lets you know when your period is approaching,a detail that went viral among, players who [music] loved how, it made the relationship feel, more lifelike, and considerate.Beyond all these avenues for companionship and emotional support,the dev team also put in work crafting visually stunning characters.Love and Deep Space is the first Chinese auto, game to [music] move from the traditional anime inspired, 2D style to a hyperrealistic, 3D art design.The result,characters who look and move almost like real people with cinematic, [music] lighting,textured skin, and expressive facial animations.

Visual beauty is a cornerstone of the female case,and the production team [music] clearly understood that.Leisu, a producer at Paper Games,described how the team aimed to [music] create what she called a cinematic, experience on a mobile screen.From the flutter of a character’s, hair to the direction of a sweat, droplet running down his jawline,every detail was obsessively refined.Years of meticulous [music] animation, and motion capture work brought these virtual men to life,and the payoff was massive.Love [music] and Deep Spac’s gorgeous visuals, intimacy mechanics,and gripping plot lines captivated, the hearts of over [music] 50, million players worldwide.Some, of course,play the game just to enjoy the plot and admire the art.But for the vast majority,the game proved that virtual relationships, can feel just as meaningful and far less exhausting than the real [music] thing.And I get it.Having a virtual relationship can be great because there’s no conflict,no awkward silences, no emotional labor,

just someone wholly focused on you.But at the end of the day, all this exists behind a screen.That’s why many players look for ways to bring this virtual relationship, into the physical world.And their affection often manifests in merchandise collections.Players will hang little keychains, buy badges,pillows,or posters and hang them around so their favorite 2D characters hold a tangible, presence in their everyday life.But for some players, that desire goes a step further.They don’t just want to display affection.They want to experience it.And that’s where China’s growing cosplay romance industry comes in.For one day, a player’s digital romance comes to life.And for one day, reality feels even better than fantasy.

Cosplayed dates: A perfect time with the perfect lover

I’m not interested in 3D men.19-year-old Fingu says this without hesitation.Instead of falling for real men, she’s in love with Jesse,a greeneyed red-head musician from the auto game Light and Night.And today, she’ll be able to go on a date with him thanks to Shuing Ting,the cosplayer who has been commissioned to bring him to life.It’s not an easy gig to book.After all, these cosplayers aren’t just dressing up.They’re performing an idealized fantasy.stepping into the role of the perfect gentlemanly, charismatic love interest every player dreams of.During these dates, they must maintain the character’s personality,stay attentive and polite,and make sure their client feels special and emotionally seen.Looks, accuracy,and behavior all matter down to the smallest expression or line delivery.In a study conducted by Lenor Wang,several cosplayers admitted they often spend more money on professional makeup,wigs, and tailoring than they earn from the commission itself.

One cosplayer described the level of discipline required,avoiding foods that might cause, bloating the day before and spending, upwards of three hours applying, cosplay makeup as they perfect, a character’s features, in a process that often requires thick double eyelid tape and even prosthetic, noses to replicate the look.Depending on how popular the, cosplayer is and of course how, good-looking they are,they can make some serious money providing love by the hour.22-year-old PE, a regular client of cosplay dates,says in big cities like Shanghai and Beijing,cosplayers who are good-looking and talk can charge at least 500 yen per day.And if they’re famous on social media,their daily rates can easily hit the thousands.But it’s not just physical attraction clients are buying.It’s that connection, the relationship they’ve built in the game already.To prove their ability to bring this relationship out of the game,many cosplayers who are auto, game fans themselves will show screenshots.

of their in-game process to reassure, clients they know how their dream boyfriend would act.So on the date, the experience will feel as authentic as possible.

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The Date Questionnaire

Use my link in the description,and I promise you’ll be able, to tell a difference in your, web browsing experience.Thank you, ProtonVPN,for sponsoring this video.Now, back to our date with our cosplayer boyfriend,who is very eager to form that genuine connection with us.In addition,cosplayers, will often send a questionnaire, to the client before the date, begins so they can better understand, their needs and provide them, with the perfect date experience.Let’s take a look at some of these questions.Number one, how would you like me to address you that day?A, baby,babe.B, your dick name,or C, all of the above.See, this is so considerate.One of my friends absolutely hates pet names [music] like babe.But none of her exes ever asked how she felt about it.They just assumed she’d like it.Cosplayers, on the other hand,ask instead of assuming.Small details like this make, a massive difference in making, clients feel comfortable.Next question.Do you have any small requests for me or any deal breakers?A.

Don’t look at your phone.B.Don’t answer or make calls in person.C.Others.Now, other people may not mind,but I personally can’t stand, it when someone pulls out their, phone mid-con conversation.Obviously, if I don’t know them well,I can’t exactly snatch their phone and fling it onto the road,but the urge [music] is there.So, I also really love this question.It’s a way to make sure the client knows you’ll be getting my full attention.Next, what is the acceptable degree of physical contact?A, do not touch at all.B, we can hold hands.C, we can embrace.D, anything above is fine.I love this because craving emotional closeness doesn’t necessarily, mean wanting physical contact.This question makes that distinction, and that is so respectful.10 out of 10.Next, [music] are you afraid of talking or conversation?A, no,I just don’t talk much.B, I like to talk.C, I’m a little scared.D, I’m very scared of talking.If you are in this situation, tell me what to do so you can be comfortable.

[gasps] Oh my gosh,this has to be like the golden, standard of how to make someone, feel accepted for who they are.Nothing about you needs to change.Let me know what I can do so you’ll be at ease.And last option, I have superficial social anxiety.I do want to talk, but I need some encouragement.Wholesome.Love the options here.[music] Next, can we hold hands or put our arms around each other?Give a hug as soon as we meet.Yes or no with several variations?Honestly, this one hits home.Some people just aren’t hug people.That was me for the first 20 years of my life.Aussie culture is really big, on hugging people when you see, them and when you leave.And I would literally sneakily back away at the end of every interaction.So, it was just out of reach.Nowadays, I’m much better at it.But asking before assuming, absolute green flag.Then finally, are there any particular topics that interest you?I will prepare in advance and also listen to your sharing patiently.A, yes,and please know this in advance.

B, yes,but you don’t need to study up.See none.Oh my gosh.You know that saying where [music] it’s like to be loved is to be understood.Imagine someone actually taking, the time to read up on your hobbies, just to connect with you better.It’s hard not to melt at that level of attentiveness.Cosplay commission dates are framed as emotional experiences, rather than romantic transactions.It’s strictly platonic but deeply immersive.And now we can definitely see why.In fact, I think I would like to place my order too for one cosplay boyfriend,please.This is the kind of quality and attentiveness, you can expect on a commission date.Someone fully willing to accommodate your needs and preferences.Take Juju for example.You might remember her from the beginning of the video.In passing, she mentioned to her cosplay boyfriend that she liked shiny things.The very next time they met,the cosplayer showed up with a big sparkly ring as a gift.It was a random comment she made, but they noticed,

remembered, and delivered,and that made Juda feel deeply touched.Jud also confesses to being a slight germaphobe.In previous relationships, her ex-boyfriends have never noticed.But on a one-on-one commission date, when she and the cosplayer sat down to eat,the cosplayer noticed the way she was eyeing the cutlery on the table.Even though they were clean,the cosplayer sanitize the cutlery again without her ever asking.To be loved is to be understood.This kind of attentiveness doesn’t come from nowhere.Though, a big part of why these boyfriends are so perceptive,why they notice the unspoken, is because more often than not,they’re actually women performing as male characters.There are many reasons for this.The first is safety.Most clients are women and many feel uneasy about spending time role-playing, couple scenarios with a male stranger.Going out with another woman simply feels safer and more relaxed.The second reason is emotional clarity.

When the other person is a woman, the boundaries are clearer.You can lean into the boyfriend fantasy and know deep down they’re a woman.Thirdly,these female cosplayers tend to come directly from the anime communities.There’s less judgment from them because they’re also fans.So they treat the dates and clients with more respect.Duj emphasizes, this point as she brings up a, past experience where she commissioned, a male cosplayer, only to find out he insulted, her appearance behind her back and caught her rich and stupid, in DMs to other people.Perhaps the most important reason, though is that because the cosplayer, is a woman,she knows how women want to be treated.It’s really an industry where women just went, >> “Fine,I’ll do it myself.” Otto games are marketed at women after all,so it makes sense that a woman, would play the role of an ideal, man better and also be nicer, about it.Pier says she has spent nearly half a million [music] yen or about $100,000, on these dates in a single year.

She usually rotates between different cosplayers,[music] but some clients like Juu, are deeply devoted to one cosplayer, and may buy out their services for a set period.For 10,000 yen, Juju was able to secure exclusivity, for their favorite cosplayer.Notably, this fee does not cover the cost of each individual date,which she still pays separately.Interestingly,whereas Otomet players rarely feel possessive over their in-game love interest,many clients who commission cosplayers admit to experiencing [music] jealousy, and possessiveness during real life dates.They were able to clearly separate, the cosplayer from the fictional, character they had fallen in, love with,and they knew that the person, in front of them was just acting, in a costume and a wig,but many still felt attached to the actual cosplayer after the date.Lecturer Zing, observed that cosplay commissions, allow women [music] to gain a voice that is fully respected by the opposite sex,responding to, breaking,

and reconstructing the [music] gender rules of the real world.During a cosplay date, you are the only one who matters.[music] It’s a liberating form of selfishness in a hierarchical, and competitive society that so [music] often demands women to be selfless.This kind of phenomenon falls under what sociologist, Sigmar Balman would call liquid love.When modern people crave connection but fear commitment,creating disposable temporary [music] relationships.After a day of intimacy on these cosplay dates,both sides simply return to their normal lives.It’s hassle-free, safe,and easily digestible.It’s love by the hour, and Fun enjoys every moment of it.Her date with her Jesse begins with milk tea,followed by a doll painting workshop, a cake decorating class,hot pot, and finally a romantic stroll.It’s perfect.It’s everything she wants, and she almost wishes it never had to end.[music] And that is the problem.The dark side of experiencing such exhilarating.

highs on these [music] commission dates is the withdrawal afterwards.the addiction to being loved and validated,accepted unconditionally before [music] falling back into reality,especially if that reality is one of isolation.After the high comes [music] the crash, and it is often brutal.

The price of paying for love

Not all players who enjoy Otto, games are lacking emotional fulfillment or relationships in real life,but many do.Lang, an auto game player,says, “Even though I know these male characters are virtual,I still enjoy the emotional fulfillment I get during the game.It makes up for not having a, partner to interact with in real, life.” For [music] players in, this situation,the contrast between experiencing a fairy tale date, being loved and cared for,and then returning to reality, which may feel lonely due to work,school, or other reasons,is a hard one to [music] adjust to.Lingan went through this exact experience.On one of her dates, the cosplayer proposed to her.Afterwards, Leon brought out the cosplayer’s entire next [music] year of dates,securing exclusive one-on-one privileges.She was spoiled on each of these dates, and her expenses also piled up.From the initial few,000 yen to blowing past 60,000.But that was just the monetary cost.

Far more troubling was the emotional investment Lean felt for the cosplayer.The boundary she had drawn between the 2D character and the real person, began to blur.Eventually, she decided to end the commission and seek therapy.She described the withdrawal, as a terrible time with physical, symptoms like headaches,anxiety, [music] and insomnia.Lean never expected to fall for the fantasy.In her mind, [music] she had always known these dates were just an illusion.But somehow somewhere along the way, it became real to her.Lean has spent over 4,000, yen on counseling so far and cautions others about these dates.She [music] warns,especially for girls prone to depression or emotional instability,it’s best to stay away from the seemingly beautiful but psychologically, damaging form of romantic consumption.Liiaun, a professor at the psychology of Beijing Hospital,warns that while cosplay commissions may appear harmless on the surface,the intense emotional dependence formed between clients and cosplayers.

actually exhibits features of pathological, addiction,similar to video game or internet addiction.When these fantasies collapse and the date ends,participants often experience intense [music] emotional withdrawal,which can result in deeper psychological trauma.The commodification of intimacy, the deliberate blurring of boundaries,and the extraordinary, effort the cosplayer puts to [music] become perfect for you,can be deeply addictive.Associate Professor Dingwi, cautions that this may make it harder for women to form genuine, lasting relationships with real men.She explains that cosplay commissions are at their core, a form [music] of paid emotional labor.Because cosplayers are being compensated,they are motivated to go above and beyond for their clients.In real relationships, however,everyone’s energy is finite.Ding emphasizes that authentic relationships involve pain, contradiction,and conflict.And these challenging emotions are crucial for self-, adjustment, growth,and [music] maturity.

By remaining too long in the idealized world of commission relationships,people may miss out on opportunities for genuine personal development.When everything is perfect and unconditionally accepted,[music] growth stagnates.Many clients see these cosplay dates as healing.And that perspective is understandable.Like therapists,cosplayers, often approach the date by listening attentively and showing patience.But anyone who has gone to therapy can point out a crucial difference.Therapists listen, but they don’t unconditionally accept everything you do.A good therapist won’t judge you,but they will challenge you if your mindset needs a little shifting.Cosplay commissions are simply one of the latest offerings in China’s expanding, loneliness economy.The country is witnessing a steep rise [music] in young single individuals,many of whom are delaying or avoiding marriage and increasingly, hesitant to even pursue romantic relationships.

The popularity of cosplay dates reveals deeper issues within Chinese society.Irene Lee, a lecturer at the University of Oakland,outlines these connections.In highly competitive and hierarchical societies,alternative forms of intimacy can offer young women a safer,more manageable space to experience, connection without the emotional labor and time investment, demanded by conventional relationships.These services reflect a growing [music] desire for created, emotional experiences,especially among young people navigating economic procarity, and shifting norms around intimacy and relationships.

Conclusion

As young people feel increasingly squeezed for time, [music] energy,and resources in Chinese society,real relationships begin to seem both more difficult and less worthwhile.And with the development of technology,it’s easier than ever to fall, into a fantasy that at times, may appear a bit too real.Cosplay dates are so fascinating, to me because they sit at the, intersection of 2D and 3D worlds,virtual and real at the same time.The boom of this cosplay romance industry says a lot about how intimacy, is evolving in modern Chinese society.People still crave connection [music] and emotional closeness.But the pressure within Chinese society makes traditional relationships, unappealing [music], for many young women.Cosplay dates provide unconditional acceptance, validation,and companionship.[music] But they are also temporary and commodified,which leaves its clients vulnerable to experiencing withdrawals.As technology continues to blur the lines between virtual and real,

the rise of cosplay commission dates may be signaling a shift in how intimacy,[music] love,and human connection are being forged in an increasingly digital age,which I’ll be honest is a little unsettling to think about.But how do you feel about all of this?Would you want a cosplay boyfriend or girlfriend for a day?Let me know in the comments below.If you made it this far, I am begging you to subscribe,please.Just a crumb of affection.A big thank you as well to my patrons for their wonderful support.I’ll see you in the next one.Bye.

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